P.O. Box 621, DeKalb, IL 60115
Hotline: 815-756-5228
In Sandwich: 815-786-6333
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Cycle of Violence

How denial works in each stage of the cycle to keep the cycle going only by breaking through this denial can the cycle be broken.

1. Tension Building

She denies it's happening, excuses it as some outside stress (work, etc.); blames herself for his behavior, denies that the abuse will worsen. He denies by blaming the tension on her, work, the traffic, anything; by getting drunk, denies his responsibility for his actions.

2. Incident

She denies her injuries, only minor ("I bruise easily"), didn't require police or medical help; blames it on drinking ("He didn't know what he was doing."); does not label it rape because it was her husband. He blames it on her, stress, etc. ("She had it coming.")

3. Honeymoon

She minimizes injuries ("It could have been worse."); believes this is the way it will stay, the man of her dreams, believes his promises. He also believes it won't happen again.