Hey y’all! We’ll be livetweeting this season of ABC’s The Bachelor, sharing live-video discussions on Facebook (@safepassagedvsa), and blogging our conversations here. If you’re not familiar with the premise of Bachelor Nation, here’s a quick rundown:
One guy (or woman, if we’re watching The Bachelorette) meets 25-30 single (or allegedly single *coughJedcough*) contestants, dates them in exciting and adventurous locations and eliminates them one by one until they propose to their forever life-partner.
Spoiler alert: these relationships almost NEVER work out and the franchise is plagued with enormous issues dealing with sexism, racism, homophobia, and more. It is hard to imagine a show whose creator/producer has been accused of domestic battery could be problematic, right? Oh wait. The Bachelor has dealt with toxic masculinity, slut-shaming, gaslighting and so much more, all without every actually calling out those behaviors. We’re here to set the record straight. Join us each week for a new live video and blog of Will You Accept This Rant where we’ll dive into the seedy underbelly and expose our culture’s obsession with unhealthy relationships.
Our major rant this week? CONSENT.
There isn’t much on the relationship front to report this week, as the first episode tends to be filled with cringe-worthy limo entrances (except Ashley P…you’re perfect and we’d do anything for you. Team Ashley P). The thing that stuck out the most was the utter lack of respect for Peter’s boundaries.
One contestant (Savannah, if you’re the kind of genius who can match names to faces after one episode) used her entrance to put a blindfold on Peter, feel him up, and kiss him. Which would be totally fine IF SHE HAD ASKED HIM FIRST. I’m not here to shame your blindfold-makeout sesh. You do you, boo. But you can’t can’t can’t can’t can’t do that without asking.
Another contestant (Tammy) puts Peter in handcuffs and pats him down, like the weird TSA-Hallmark Rom-Com crossover NO ONE asked for. Again, we weren’t shown any level of consent for that level of intimacy. In fact, Peter seemed hella uncomfortable.
1. TSA patdowns aren’t sexy. In fact, they can be pretty damn terrifying for people who don’t have the protection of White Privilege (you’re covered, Peter.).
2. DON’T TOUCH SOMEONE WITHOUT ASKING. Do we really need to say this?
There are only 2 possible scenarios here. Peter’s boundaries were crossed without his permission. Just because he’s a guy and just because he’s a guy who is known for having had sex does not mean that he can’t be violated. OR consent was asked for and given but not deemed important or sexy enough to be given airtime. Until we start making consent a CRITICAL and VISIBLE part of our romantic media, we won’t send the message that consent is necessary for nonabusive relationships. Get a yes, for everything, every time.
Our “Will You Accept This Rant” roses of the week go to:
Dead Rose–Everyone who has ever kissed someone without permission.
Rose–Ashley P the Cow